I left the UK a grumpy bald bloke in a rut. Did I return as one too…?
Spoiler: kind of — but we found a loophole!
Can I Even Remember How it all Began?
It feels like a million years ago now, but I can just about remember the seed of an idea embedding itself in the substrate of my brain. Back then, Mary-Ann and I were a totally follically-able couple and, off the back of a few forays into the wild, completely infected by the travel bug!
From that point on, everything became about making this trip happen – saving, planning, scheming, spreadsheeting, and even surviving a global pandemic without abandoning the dream.
If you’re curious about how we pulled together the money and logistics, here’s the brutally honest version:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/how-we-saved-for-dream-trip/
And here’s how the vague fantasy slowly evolved into an actual plan:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/from-dream-to-reality-six-month-sabbatical/
The plan itself was refreshingly simple:
Save a healthy travel fund –> Take a career break –> Rent out our house –> Backpack Southeast Asia for as long as our money, health, and relationship would allow.
I can report that both money and health began to peter out at roughly the same time (although Mary-Ann remained irritatingly robust throughout… Obviously, I continued my lifelong commitment to pathetic frailty).
Once we were out in the big wide world, we wanted cheap food, crazy public transport, mental border crossings, and most of all – escaping the eat–sleep–work–repeat doom loop.
Eight months later, I am happy to announce that it was a grand success! We came home tired, half feral, smellier, poorer, and with a much richer backlog of spectacular stories, injuries, and trauma.
This page is the honest summary of our sabbatical – the route, the mistakes, the budget, and the lessons we didn’t realise we’d signed up for!
The Plan vs Reality – Trying Not To Be A Hypocrite
I’d love to tell you that everyone planning a trip should be like those nomadic influencer types you see online. The ones who are beautifully laissez-faire and tuned into the planets vibrations… or something like that. To me that’s amazing and I tip my hat to all that make it work. But, we were NOT like that.
Aside from deciding to take a sabbatical, we made absolutely certain to plan and de-risk this trip pretty thoroughly. I know that slightly dulls the romantic, wanderlust glow of it all, but for us it was the right way to go about things. Once you’ve got the big stuff covered, you’re free to be spontaneous with the fun bits – where to go next, how long to stay, what to eat, and which questionable bus to trust with your life.
We budgeted for a healthy safety net, kept our rough route flexible in case of mishaps or last-minute inspiration, and, crucially, had contingency plans in place in case things like diarrhoea hit the fan. Thankfully, this approach worked well, and I don’t feel like I went any balder from stress while away… which would’ve been quite an achievement. I’m proud to say we had no sleepless nights or anxiety spirals caused by poor planning.
It worked! Because, happily, we ticked off everything on our to-do list, and more.
That said, even with all that planning and contingency, reality still managed to sneak up on us and slap us heartily around the chops from time to time:
– Unexpected expenses either from being swindled or just plain expensive stuff
– Truly mind bending volumes of tourists in certain places, which to be fair, we mostly managed to dodge
– Being permanently torn between never wanting to go home and worrying you might have actually detonated your life and career for good.
– Slowly accruing regrets about places you should have done differently
– Being ill and tired… quite a lot in my case!
I could go on and on about how the reality of our sabbatical wasn’t always sunshine and palm trees (although most of it was). But in hindsight, I think it’s the messy, slightly unhinged moments that really underlined the experience and let us know we were truly doing it properly!
Our Sabbatical Route – Eight Months, Eleven Countries & A Lot of Rice
From the outset, we wanted to go for ‘slow travel’, which only lasted about two months in Indonesia. Very soon after that, time anxiety kicked in and time felt like it was getting away from us, so out travel accelerated considerably. As you can see in the map below, we began zig-zagging wildly across Southeast Asia and beyond, as if we were tossing a coin to decide our next move! Just trust me when I say that there was method to the madness – there’s a lot to consider!
Thankfully, my father kept track of our progress, which I have turned into the beautiful monstrosity you see here. You can use the interactive map to explore our full 8-month route. Zoom in, click the orange bloke marker, and jump straight to the blogs and/or Instagram posts for each location. (The bigger markers are for the blogs that cover entire countries.)
Read the blog post
View Instagram post
The Moments That Really Defined The Trip
Some experiences cling to your memory. Others evaporate instantly. Usually the worst ones stick the hardest… stupid human nature! It’s usually the ugly tales that you tell people at the bar anyway, right? Personally, because I’m a bit weird’ I kinda seek out the ‘bad’ experiences just as much as I do the good ones – it’s my version of a balanced diet.
Some of the most memorable parts:
- Raja Ampat: When Paradise Is Trying To Kill You…
Hands down the most beautiful place we’ve ever visited. But in a parallel universe, Jack.2 and Mary-Ann.2 are at the bottom of the ocean, sun burned and half eaten by sea critters:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/raja-ampat-the-wild-wild-west-papua/
- Cambodia: Perspective Comes When You Least Expect It
Between its history, resilience, and truly lovely people, Cambodia somehow managed to break and warm are hearts simultaneously (and occasionally turn our stomachs too…):
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/cambodia-8-unexpected-suprises/
- Taiwan: Not Even Rain And Sickness Stopped Us Loving it!
“I have a great idea! Let’s ride a moped around Taiwan!”
Scooters, night markets, mountains, and rain in biblical quantities.:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/the-taiwanese-road-trip-the-dos-donts-and-drenchings/
- Singapore: Well Now, Isn’t This Interesting…
From city hating country bumpkins to seeing serious potential in this city… More on this later:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/the-big-question-how-long-do-you-need-in-singapore/
I could go on… But, you’re better off looking through the other blogs. Or even better, head out on your own adventure - don’t just trust bald British idiot!
Our Budget - How Much Did An 8-Month Sabbatical Actually Cost Us?
As I’ve said before, this wasn’t our first venture into the world of backpacking. So we had some idea when it comes to budgeting and where we were willing to rough it vs. where we weren’t. So, we had a spreadsheet based on 6 months, although subsequently we managed to eke out the money to 8 months without even having to sell any organs – win!
Accommodation:
We aimed for an average of £20 per night each for accommodation. Some countries were well below this budget, others well above (hello Japan, Taiwan and Singapore!), but across the whole trip, it worked nicely!
We could have gone a lot cheaper, but we absolutely did not want to! This was our big once-in-a-lifetime trip, and as a married couple in our 30’s, we didn’t want to rough it in dorms along side snorers, swingers and teenagers…
Our only real requirements were:
- An ensuite bathroom
- Preferably air conditioning
- Clean sheets
- And no wildlife larger than a mosquito
Luxury it was not, but we weren’t suffering.
Food:
We also budgeted about £20 per day each for food, and really tried to get breakfast included in our accommodation whenever possible.
Again, some countries this budget was ample. In others, it barely covered lunch. But averaged out, it worked.
Everything Else (aka: how to deal with chaos):
After food and accommodation, budgeting gets quite difficult and vague. There are many outlays that are difficult to accurately account for: transport, activities, excursions, entrance fees, phone data, medical mishaps, scooter rentals, laundry, happy hour beers, taxis, and the occasional f**k up - it all adds up in strange and unpredictable ways.
So rather than attempting to spreadsheet every possible variable, based on previous experience and a some guesswork, we bundled it into another £20 per day each.
The Final Numbers:
So in total, we aimed for £60 each per day, which works out at roughly £11,000 per person for 6 months. Then, being as deeply risk-averse as I am (and being acutely aware of my incredible ability to become ill in exotic locations), we rounded that up to £15,000 each, giving us a solid contingency buffer!
That’s a lot of money, I know! You will absolutely find people who do similar trips on a fraction of that. But for us, some comfort, flexibility, and not stressing about money were non-negotiable. It wasn’t so bad, because we saved it slowly over 5 years, and it actually lasted us 2 months more than expected, including flights!
Where Money Lasted And Where It Vanished Fast!
In our experience, the cheapest countries were:
- Cambodia
- Vietnam
- Laos
- Indonesia
The places where money just magically evaporated were:
- Japan
- Singapore
- Taiwan
- Philippines (surprisingly!)
I could waffle on endlessly about saving money (and I have, in other blogs), but the key thing I’ll say here is that sustainable saving is the way to do it! Save at a rate that means you can still live life reasonably well during that time - no monk-like deprivation!
If you want a bald blokes guide to saving:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/how-we-saved-for-dream-trip/
And if you want some more practical lifestyle changes:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/money-saving-mindset-dream-sabbatical/
The Mental Side of Taking A Sabbatical – Fatigue, Mild Panic, The Unknown & Relationship Strain!
Long-term travel looks glamorous online. In reality, it’s bloody knackering. I know I am no spring chicken, but I’m also not quite ready for the care home yet (on most days). It’s well known that exhaustion, impatience and tiredness are just the nature of the beast, but even so, knowing that intellectually and experiencing it daily are two very different things.
A Real Day in the Life on Sabbatical:
Some days, you wake up to the smell of incense, leap from your bed, and head out for another nourishing day of exploration, feeling accomplished and electrified!
Many days, however, go a bit more like this:
You wake up at 4am to the call-to-prayer (or some equally enthusiastic cultural clamour), fail to get back to sleep, and end up watching Netflix on your phone until 7am. You finally roll out of bed and immediately realise the blister on your foot has finally popped and now stings horribly. The shower is cold, the bathroom smells a bit like sewerage, and you’ve run out of bottled water to brush your teeth.
Rubbing your eyes, you blurrily notice the tired anger painted across your wife’s face as she points to the pile of yesterday’s clothes on the floor where you’d left them last night. You grunt and to her distaste, you put them back on. Due to this, she becomes quietly passive-aggressive because she is equally knackered, sore, and fed up. It’s coming up to 9am, it’s time for breakfast, which you eat mostly in silence while trying to decide what you actually have the energy for today.
You can’t decide. Neither can your wife. So naturally, you both argue about it until one option becomes impossible and the decision is made for you by the cruel hands of time.
You eventually set off mid-morning. The coffee begins to make you feel vaguely human again, but something you ate last night is now scraping its way down your colon at light speed and you are forced into a panicked hunt for a toilet. There is no toilet paper. Your phone is in the day bag on your wife’s back, so you wave goodbye to your pride and scream for tissues. She hears you, and thankfully, always has some tissues on hand.
You reach your destination, where mercifully there is only one choice for lunch, so no further debate is required. You pick the second cheapest item on the menu, because the cheapest feels like you’re being too tight fisted, and are pleasantly surprised that it’s actually quite good.
The adventure properly begins. You’re finally wide awake, your wife is smiling, and suddenly everything feels worth it again. You see some of the coolest things you’ve ever seen and forget about your blister, your fatigue, and your increasingly fried nervous system.
Three hours later, your heart is still in it, but your legs, feet, and lower back have handed in their notice and are no longer playing ball. You don’t want to admit defeat, so you suggest having a “quick coffee.” This turns into at least 45 minutes of sitting, trying not to fall asleep and another mildly traumatic code-brown toilet experience.
You rally for round two, but the magic from earlier doesn’t quite come back. So you explore a little more, but telepathically agree to begin meandering gently back towards the hotel.
Your wife asks where you want to eat for dinner, and stupidly, you reply with, “I don’t mind.” A mild argument follows.
Before it escalates, you open Google Maps and choose the Thai place ten minutes away from the hotel. You ask her whether you should go straight there or back to the hotel first. Unsurprisingly, she tells you to decide. You opt for the hotel, so you can change your sweat-soaked shirt and tend to your blister, which is now beginning to resemble something in a butchers window.
Just 5 mins later you are ready to go, but your wife has found the bed and no longer wants to leave the room. She tells you to go alone - you sigh deeply.
All of this is to say that our trip was truly incredible, extremely formative, and just the best thing we’ve ever done. But, it was hard!
Decision fatigue is real, mental and physical limits are also real, and just yearning for something to be sorted out for you for once begins to plague the mind! Every single day requires decisions about transport, food, accommodation, safety, visas, logistics, and general survival. Add language barriers, cultural differences, constant movement, poor sleep, illness, and the quiet background fear that you might have detonated your sensible adult life in pursuit of fun – and, well, you basically never fully rest!
And yet… somehow… it’s infinitely rewarding.
I don’t really fully understand it, but no matter how tired, ill, broken you feel, or even how much you desperately just want a Greggs steak bake and a pack of McCoys, you always wake up and do it all again the next day. And the next. And the next.
If life and finances would allow for it, we would absolutely do the whole thing again tomorrow.
However - We’d Do Some Stuff Differently Next Time!
I reckon anyone who claims they’d change nothing after eight months of backpacking is either lying or has the memory of a goldfish.
If we were to do it all again, we’d tweak a few things:
- Actually travel slowly: Even if that means entire days of doing absolutely nothing beyond eating, reading, and staring into space.
- Spend more money on the places that matter most: Raja Ampat being the prime example for us. You will not regret the expense, only the missed opportunity.
- Spend a bit more on comfortable transport: There is a point where saving £6 on a bus ticket is simply not worth the spinal realignment and lack of sleep that follows.
- Make even more effort to avoid heavily touristic places: We did a decent job overall, but a few still slipped through the net. The special spots are the always the more authentic ones!
- Officially plan rest days: Actually schedule them into the calendar. Something along the lines of a fortnightly ‘lie-down and get a massage’ day.
-Accept that not every day has to be the best day yet: Sometimes the best day was two weeks ago and you just don’t know it yet - that’s fine! Travel also involves laundry, admin, and feeling crap sometimes.
- Drink more beer: Obviously.
- Be more careful with questionable street food: It takes literal months for my butthole recover from these trips, and you can never recover the lost days on the toilet!
Aside from all that, I actually think we did most things right. We nailed the budgeting, struck a decent balance between fixed planning and flexibility, and built an itinerary that kicked serious ass!
Honestly, if you decided to copy our trip exactly, I don’t think you’d go too far wrong. Just maybe learn from our near-misses, allow yourself more rest, and for the love of all things holy, try not to get ill quite as much as I did.
Final Thoughts – 5 Years for 8 Months, Was it Worth it?
Well, first I’d like to go back to before we left to an early blog of mine:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/balancing-world-wanderlust-without-being-nomad/
I’m happy to report that, for me, it rings just as true now as it did then. The experiences we had on sabbatical were priceless, but a big part of that came down to risk mitigation, planning, and most of all - being realistic about expectations! Because of that, I can genuinely say that I think we did it ‘properly’, and absolutely milked it for all it was worth!
It also somewhat reshaped how we think about money, careers, comfort, and what we actually want from life. Which neatly brings me back to the ‘loophole’ I mentioned at the start of this blog…
Although we had definitely ‘built ourselves a life worth returning to’, we realised we weren’t quite ready to return to it yet. You only get one life, and for us, experiencing new things is what spices it up and gives it meaning! Or at least, that’s how we feel right now.
So, Did I Return Home A Grumpy Bald Bloke In A Rut?
***If you are a grumpy bald bloke in a rut, take a look at:
https://abaldblokeabroad.com/travel-the-ultimate-remedy-for-blokes-stuck-in-a-rut/.
Fully haired people can read it too - I am open minded.***
Not yet…
We swallowed a brave pill and relocated to Singapore, where we’re both working and trying to figure out what life looks like on this side of the planet. Our home in the UK is still there, and we miss a lot about it - but just like the sabbatical itself, we’d never really know what living abroad was like unless we actually did it. So we did.
It’s been four months, and so far, so good. Once we’re properly settled and everything feels relatively stable, I’ll write a blog about the whole relocation saga! Let’s just say that moving your entire life to another country straight after an eight-month sabbatical is not very easy, and not especially comfortable!
So yes - it was worth it. Of course it was bloody worth it. Was I really ever going to say otherwise?
It was the best decision we ever made, and I’d seriously encourage anyone in the UK who’s even vaguely tempted to do something similar! You never really know how something like this will change you, but you can be pretty damn sure the change will be for the good.
I mean, I ended up migrating to a country where beer is so expensive that I can barely bring myself to drink it at all… My liver hasn’t been this healthy since I was a child!
Stay bald folks.
Toodles,
Jack
